Children Matter
Divorce is an emotional word. It triggers traumatic feelings. Divorce/family separations affect many – especially children. The “tidal wave” that ravages through without regard of the destruction it leaves and most times the aftermath affects blameless child victims. We often have cases involving child custody. While we all expect adults to behave like adults, maturity sometimes alludes certain individuals. It’s a shame, because children do not ask to be brought into the world and rarely have blame for the divorce or separation to which they become casualties of. Our job can sometimes get involved in the nitty gritty, sometimes the messy, and the downright grotesque. Rather than reveal a story of what we’ve solved and our methodologies, I want to give you a list of things to take note of so when you enlist help from a private investigator for a custody case, you have the details. Details matter. They may include, but are not limited to:
· Gut feelings – I cannot tell you how many times gut feelings end up proving true- don’t ever dismiss them.
· If the phone location of your children is not where it is supposed to be, document it and take a screenshot. Immediately contact the individual who the children are in care with. Write down the details of what was said. If you have an attorney, many of our clients have requested in the PL that the children are always to have access to their phones while in the care of the opposite parent/guardian.
· As soon as the children are in your care, ask them to give you the details. Record their version beit written or audio.
· Tell the private investigator the whole story, don’t leave anything out- even if you think it is irrelevant or shameful.
· Know the friends and whereabouts of where and with whom your child/children will be. Knowledge is power and even the small things can assist in attaining proof.
· Collect and reveal all the history on the other parent/guardian. It’s important.
· Contact the authorities if ANY information is seen or told by your child that breaks the law and ANY abuse. DO NOT hesitate.
Anyone who adores life and children knows that it is our job to protect the innocent and those who are incapable of protecting themselves. We must come together to combat abuse of any kind against children (and frankly all persons). Sex trafficking, physical, and emotional abuse are closer than you think- specifically when the family dynamics change. Bringing awareness by participating in different social media photo postings, hashtags, wearing dresses or other gear for a short time, and fundraising are all good starts. But for there to be real change, we need to get involved in our communities. We are responsible for looking out for children, protecting them, listening to them, believing them, and speaking out LOUDLY for them. See something? Say something. If you can’t get over being a “snitch” to save a child’s life, then grab a mirror and look in it. The reflection you see staring back at you is part of the problem – a HUGE negligent one. Yeah, read that again and please do an azimuth check. Divorce and family separation create a swirl of emotions and there are many moving parts; the chaos of the entire process demands attention. Paying attention to the children can be less than usual during these times. Frequently, children’s priorities, rights, feelings, and bodies become victim to circumstances that should never happen when divorce/separation occurs- even beyond divorce and separation. Ensuring that we have less casualties in this arena and outside of it requires proactive combat. Be part of the change. Protect our kids.
Written by Jennifer